Hypothetically..

I was thinking the other day... what would happen if everyone you know was secretly a flightless midge controlling a robot suit? Would it change your outlook on life in any way? Or what if you happened to wake up one morning to find out that all this time, you were really living on the moon while what you thought was the moon was the earth? Or finally (the great horror) what if you found out that the world had been taken over by a giant sweet potato pie? I will let you consider these for a moment. Anyway, now that you've had your moment, this is all beside the point. What I am really getting at here is a far deeper aspect of the philosophy of madness.

If some random person (yes, a TOTALLY random person, no idea who, oh no.) were to colonize Antarctica, what would happen? Well, I would expect that, if this (not in any way affiliated with me) person succeeded, then the other countries of the world would soon jump at the opportunity. Argentina, Australia ,Chile, France, New Zealand, Norway and the United Kingdom (each having a claim on the continent) would be the first countries to move. If they found resistance from the original civilization, I suspect they would at least partially join forces, provided that the earlier settlers could provide sufficient resistance. This would probably result in a war of considerable size that might even extend to other parts of the world. If the original colonies were victorious, they would probably establish a country that would hold Antarctica peacefully for some time. In the case that the other countries were successful, the state of affairs would likely decline into constant skirmishes between the remaining forces that had originally united.

In all this chaos, you are probably wondering what happens to the research facilities currently stationed on the continent. Well, I suspect that they would be destroyed. After all, war is not usually kind to science, unless it is developing weapons. So, either the researchers would be forced to develop weaponry, or they would have their work and facilities utterly destroyed by the masses of fire from whatever weapons people will have by then.

You might be wondering why anyone would go to so much trouble about Antarctica. After all, it's a frozen wasteland with..flightless midges... Well, I have no explanation, other than the fact that the title is "Hypothetically." Conclusions: Antarctica rules, war hates science, and in the end, the penguins win.

Scared? Me too. Have a lemonmuffin and let it all sink in. You're in for more, probably totally unrelated stuff later.

The Angry Cry Of The Angry Pie

This is insane. I cannot believe that anyone would ever think that pie isn't chill. It is amazing, far better than cake. How did we even start the tradition of using cake for birthdays? It makes no sense at all. I will start a new revolution! Birthday Pie! Or maybe muffins...why not muffins? Of course, one pie serves more people than one muffin. BUT muffins are easier to make...and you've got gross quantities...hmmm. DANG! Well, seeing as the topic of my post is so amazing, I cannot betray pie and say muffins, but if I say pie I will not be giving muffins what they deserve! So, I believe my only option is to compromise! (Either that or discard the post, which I obviously didn't because you're reading it).

After much consideration, I have come up with a solution! A muffin pie must be created! That way, we can have a massive baked product with a muffin top and pie filling! Consider the combinations possible. Blueberry/Cherry, Apple/Lemon (yes, THAT muffin), or Chocolate/Pumpkin. We know that all of those combinations sound totally disgusting! It's the idea that counts! We just have to work out some kinks in the execution..or something like that...and go to Publix in a Darth Vader suit! Using The Force (in other words, various wires and the like) we can buy all the needed items. Then, we shall move on to the cash register, and threaten the cashier with our mighty applications of The Force for battle (such as Force Eye Poke) to receive discounts! Then, we shall return to our lair and create this wonderful muffinpie! We will start a new revolution, change the world one birthday party at a time! MUFFINPIE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Disclaimer: Lord Miklite is by no means responsible if this rant blew your mind. He cannot help it if you fail to understand the introspective products of his deep and thoughtful reflection. No, most of them are not introspective at all. I just wanted to say that.

About a blog...

It has been quite a while since I wrote something on here. I know nobody is reading this, but really, I don't care. Well maybe one or two people are reading this. You know who you are. I still don't really care. Anyway, I was inspired (mostly by the Lawrence Arms) to write things on here after my last posts (which I had to do for a class). I know that you have probably NEVER heard of the Lawrence Arms, unless you know me (in which case you most certainly have heard of them). Suffice to say that they are an amazingly awesome (and obscure) melodic hardcore punk band from Chicago, and their frontman writes extremely long (often quite obscene) random/ philosophical/comedy musings for his blog. Now that that's out of the way, I must say that my posts will be considerably shorter than his, but still fairly long. My posts will also lack the obscenity of his... just because I'm not a 30 year old punk rocker who gets drunk, plays bass, screams, gets drunk more and then goes to his day job the next morning. Know what I'm saying?

Now, down to business. Firstly, I must wonder what the point of blogging is. Why is it that people get on the internet and start writing things to be posted on this..web log thingy? I see no reason, it's just like Facebook or whatever, except only putting PART of your life online. Or some worthless crap. I guess people are inspired by the awesomeness of putting their random ideas on blogs. It's really I suppose an outlet for philosophical musings. Basically it's a metaphor for ska punk getting together with Aristotle and smoking some stuff with him or something like that.

So basically, while we blog, the entire world is slowly progressing toward becoming a receptacle for greasy middle aged men reading blogs from 15 year olds, and becoming indoctrinated by the ideas in the blog. As a result, the generational difference will be reversed, and the middle aged will assume the ideas of youth, whereas the younger generations will become old beyond their years. So basically, people will be younger than their children in behavior! This would probably cause a massive reversal of the working class, and Congress will probably have to redefine "child labor" as employing someone over the age of 45. If we were to take this idea another step, imagine in China where it is traditional for people to care for their elderly parents. If the parents are essentially younger than their children, they would end up having a massive screwed up double role reversal. Basically the 75 year old grandma is taking care of her 50 year old son who seems older than her. I suppose the entire nursing home system would have to be reworked because we'll have all these people who are only 50 years old in body acting like they're 95. Sounds interesting. I have no idea how this theory developed from ironic musings on why we blog, but it rules. I do things like this all the time, this is just the first time I've done it *ONLINNNNEEEE*....

I digress. In the end, blogging is a pointless exercise in idiocy that should be completely avoided at all costs.

P.S. I hope you've caught the irony in all this, whoever you are. It's a totally retarded experiment in the complex, multilayered properties of my mind. You can probably expect more of this kind of crap later. I think I like publishing my mindless rambles on the internet....

Where language rules come from...

So, where do language rules come from? In the past, they were determined by people who decide that one thing is right and everything else is wrong. "Language, The Loaded Weapon" describes them as Shamans. At this point, those Shamans of prescriptive language have mostly lost their influence. This does not signify the triumph of the true linguists, for they no longer play a huge part either.

New rules, in my mind, are mostly determined by people who wish to express their ideas and feelings in a unique way. This is not the only possibility, however. Dialects such as those used in the south and in black communities can also grow from a lack of the education required to express their thoughts. Perhaps they feel that they "lack language" as Moraga once said and so they create their own rules. Such new rules would spread through communities as more and more people heard others using them and became assimilated into the group of "dialect users."

Amidst all of this speculation, there's always the possibility that new rules arose merely because people enjoyed the way something sounded. Can't sounds better than cannot, for example. Poetry and Music show that man has a natural attraction to rhythm, and this attraction extends into the mundane plane of everyday speech. In the end, it's not so much a matter of what is right, but what sounds good or what you believe best expresses your purpose for speaking or idea.

Regardless of how language arises, the process repeats itself almost constantly, spawning new dialects and rules on a regular basis. The most important aspect is that it allows different people to express their thoughts.

Welcome to my blog

*I owned this post*