Hypothetically..

I was thinking the other day... what would happen if everyone you know was secretly a flightless midge controlling a robot suit? Would it change your outlook on life in any way? Or what if you happened to wake up one morning to find out that all this time, you were really living on the moon while what you thought was the moon was the earth? Or finally (the great horror) what if you found out that the world had been taken over by a giant sweet potato pie? I will let you consider these for a moment. Anyway, now that you've had your moment, this is all beside the point. What I am really getting at here is a far deeper aspect of the philosophy of madness.

If some random person (yes, a TOTALLY random person, no idea who, oh no.) were to colonize Antarctica, what would happen? Well, I would expect that, if this (not in any way affiliated with me) person succeeded, then the other countries of the world would soon jump at the opportunity. Argentina, Australia ,Chile, France, New Zealand, Norway and the United Kingdom (each having a claim on the continent) would be the first countries to move. If they found resistance from the original civilization, I suspect they would at least partially join forces, provided that the earlier settlers could provide sufficient resistance. This would probably result in a war of considerable size that might even extend to other parts of the world. If the original colonies were victorious, they would probably establish a country that would hold Antarctica peacefully for some time. In the case that the other countries were successful, the state of affairs would likely decline into constant skirmishes between the remaining forces that had originally united.

In all this chaos, you are probably wondering what happens to the research facilities currently stationed on the continent. Well, I suspect that they would be destroyed. After all, war is not usually kind to science, unless it is developing weapons. So, either the researchers would be forced to develop weaponry, or they would have their work and facilities utterly destroyed by the masses of fire from whatever weapons people will have by then.

You might be wondering why anyone would go to so much trouble about Antarctica. After all, it's a frozen wasteland with..flightless midges... Well, I have no explanation, other than the fact that the title is "Hypothetically." Conclusions: Antarctica rules, war hates science, and in the end, the penguins win.

Scared? Me too. Have a lemonmuffin and let it all sink in. You're in for more, probably totally unrelated stuff later.

The Angry Cry Of The Angry Pie

This is insane. I cannot believe that anyone would ever think that pie isn't chill. It is amazing, far better than cake. How did we even start the tradition of using cake for birthdays? It makes no sense at all. I will start a new revolution! Birthday Pie! Or maybe muffins...why not muffins? Of course, one pie serves more people than one muffin. BUT muffins are easier to make...and you've got gross quantities...hmmm. DANG! Well, seeing as the topic of my post is so amazing, I cannot betray pie and say muffins, but if I say pie I will not be giving muffins what they deserve! So, I believe my only option is to compromise! (Either that or discard the post, which I obviously didn't because you're reading it).

After much consideration, I have come up with a solution! A muffin pie must be created! That way, we can have a massive baked product with a muffin top and pie filling! Consider the combinations possible. Blueberry/Cherry, Apple/Lemon (yes, THAT muffin), or Chocolate/Pumpkin. We know that all of those combinations sound totally disgusting! It's the idea that counts! We just have to work out some kinks in the execution..or something like that...and go to Publix in a Darth Vader suit! Using The Force (in other words, various wires and the like) we can buy all the needed items. Then, we shall move on to the cash register, and threaten the cashier with our mighty applications of The Force for battle (such as Force Eye Poke) to receive discounts! Then, we shall return to our lair and create this wonderful muffinpie! We will start a new revolution, change the world one birthday party at a time! MUFFINPIE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Disclaimer: Lord Miklite is by no means responsible if this rant blew your mind. He cannot help it if you fail to understand the introspective products of his deep and thoughtful reflection. No, most of them are not introspective at all. I just wanted to say that.